Geeks and Cinco del Mayonnaise
by Little Octopus
Summary: Alfred wants to go drinking. Arthur doesn't, so Alfred makes a promise he will most likely regret.


**Feliz Cinco de Mayo!**

Arthur ignored the loud footsteps Alfred made as he moved into his back bend.

"Artie." Alfred said, sitting beside Arthur's yoga mat.

Still ignoring the American, Arthur pushed himself out of his back bend and folded his legs.

"Artie." Alfred poked Arthur's knee.

"I'm doing yoga, Alfred." Arthur said, brining his foot up to sit on his knee. "Please be quiet." He brought the other foot up and closed his eyes.

"But-"

"Alfred. Is it important?" Arthur asked, feeling his eyebrow twitch.

"Yes-"

"Will I care?"

"You should-"

"Then leave."

Alfred stayed silent, but he moved, and Arthur thought for a brief moment that Alfred had left.

Arthur let out a sigh and opened his eyes to find Alfred centimeters from his face. Arthur glared. "Fine. What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" Alfred grinned, sitting in front of Arthur and grabbing his hand.

"I don't know. May?" Arthur really couldn't careless.

"May fifth! Do you know what that is?" Alfred leaned closer and laced his fingers with Arthur's.

Arthur raised an eyebrow. What was this git getting at? "The walls get painted?"

"That's from Monsters Inc.! No! Seriously, what is May fifth?" Alfred's grin had started to fade.

"Alfred, I have no clue." Arthur sighed and let his feet fall more comfortably on the yoga mat.

"It's Cinco de Mayo, Arthur!" Alfred exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air along with Arthur's one.

"Okay, and?"

Alfred groaned. "Today is the day that the Mexicans beat up the Frenchies and they drank tequila."

"I don't think that's right." Arthur furrowed his eyebrows.

"Me too, all I know is that we get to drink tequila and margaritas!" Alfred stood. "So get dressed!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "You are pure-blood American, and you want to celebrate Chico del mayonnaise."

"_Cinco de Mayo_." Alfred enunciated.

"Whatever. And since when do you like margaritas?"

"I don't. But I like tequila. And you might like margaritas."

Arthur sighed. "How come we have to celebrate this?"

"Because it's an excuse to get you drunk." Alfred grinned and tugged at Arthur's arm. "Please? Please? You look so cute when you have your drunk face on. With your cheeks all red and you get horny, real horny when you're wasted, Artie. I mean like... whoa. And remember? We did this last year and you got your tattoo! Maybe _I'll_ get one tonight!"

Arthur stood. "I do not get horny when I am drunk! And last year we just went drinking and you didn't explain anything to me!"

Alfred shrugged. "You still got your tattoo that night. I stayed sober though 'cos I was still innocent."

"You were not." Arthur scoffed and wrapped his arms lovingly around Alfred's neck.

Alfred laughed. "You're right. But please come? It'll be fuuuun~!"

Arthur sighed and dropped his head to Alfred's shoulder. "Fine. But I get to choose your tattoo."

"No unicorns. I'll get a fairy if she's naked." Alfred laughed again.

"Why would you get a naked _woman_ on you?! You're gay!" Arthur brought his head up again.

"Doesn't mean I don't like a nice rack once in a while." Alfred grinned and brought his face down to Arthur's, but he stepped away.

"I'm not going." Arthur kept his voice steady, but he knew his chin quivered. Had Alfred always been looking at women?

"Artie. Come on, babe, it was just a joke." Alfred moved to hold Arthur again, but he moved away.

"That was one fucked up joke, Alfred!" Arthur snapped, holding his arms around him defensively.

"Why would I look at anyone else but you?" Alfred reached out and took hold of Arthur's hands.

Arthur didn't look at Alfred. "I don't want to go." Arthur mumbled.

"I'll prove it." Alfred grabbed Arthur's chin and made the Englishman look at him. "I'll get a tattoo of anything you want."

Arthur looked into Alfred's endless blue eyes. "You can be a real jerk, you know?"

"I'm sorry, babe." Alfred kissed Arthur tenderly. "What do you say? Will you come out with me?"

A sigh. "I still don't want to. But I'll go."

Alfred grinned and hugged Arthur tightly. "I love you!"

Arthur burrowed his face into Alfred's warm chest. "Love you, too."

Alfred planted a kiss on the top of Arthur's unruly hair. "Now change out of those yoga pants."

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"You need to hold still, Alfred." Arthur snapped, pushing the American's head back to his arms.

"But it _hurts,_ Artie!" Alfred whined, twitching as the tattoo artist touched his back again.

"You promised." Arthur knelt in front of Alfred and stuck out his lip. "Just a little longer."

Alfred whimpered and squeezed his eyes shut as the needle entered his skin again. "You are _so_ getting one too!"

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Yes, give Liam another reason to hate you."

"Ow! Owie!" Alfred grabbed Arthur's hand and practically crushed it in his pain-filled grip.

"Ouch! Bloody wanker! Let go!" Arthur felt tears spring to his eyes.

"Stop!" Alfred kicked his legs, making the artist move away. He looked up at Arthur and the blond was surprised to find tears in Alfred's eyes.

Arthur furrowed his brow. "Al-"

"I'm almost done so hold the hell still!" The burly man all but yelled.

Alfred lowered his head again and hung on to Arthur's hand even tighter. His shoulders shook.

Arthur felt bad. Alfred was in so much pain that he was _crying_. Well, he was over dramatic, but still. Maybe Arthur could make it up to him. He had always wanted a belly button piercing, and he had seen an American flag stud walking in the tattoo shop.

"Alright you big baby." The artists said, rubbing something against Alfred's tattoo. "I'm done."

Alfred sighed and sat up. The artist taped a clear plastic wrap to cover the tattoo and Alfred slipped on his shirt.

"That it, boys?" The artist asked, pulling off his gloves.

"Actually, can you do a piercing?" Arthur asked, helping Alfred lower his shirt.

"Sure. Where at?" The man slipped on a new pair of gloves

"My belly button." Arthur stated.

Alfred stared at him. "If you keep this trend up, you'll need to get a job too."

"Do be quiet, Al." Arthur replied, hiking his shirt up and laying in Alfred's previous spot.

"Know what ring you want?" The artist asked.

"The American flag one." Arthur locked eyes with Alfred and smiled sheepishly.

Alfred smiled and found Arthur's hand. "Your gay is showing, Artie."

Arthur scoffed but he held Alfred's hand anyway.

"Alright." The man swiped Arthur's stomach with a disinfectant wipe and grabbed a plier like tool. He clasped the tool on Arthur's belly button and grabbed the ring. "Ready?" He asked.

Arthur sucked in a breath and griped Alfred's hand. He nodded.

The artist pushed the the stud through a hole in the pliers and through Arthur's skin, making him wince and grit his teeth. The artist twisted the ball into place. He unclamped the pliers and pulled off his gloves.

"Alright, anything else?" He asked, obviously fishing for more money.

Alfred shook his head and passed him his credit card.

Arthur sat up gingerly. "How does it look?" He asked.

Alfred grinned and grabbed his card back. "You really are the best." He said, rolling Arthur's shirt so it didn't snag on his ring.

Arthur rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I'm hungry."

"Taco Bell!" Alfred grinned, grabbed Arthur's hand, and tugged him out of the tattoo shop.

"Why Taco Bell?" Arthur asked, bumping hips with Alfred.

"We need Mexican food on Cinco de Mayo!" Alfred stated.

Arthur sighed. "I just want to-"

"You said you would have fun with me!" Alfred suddenly snapped, making Arthur raise his eyebrows. "So far I've only drank one beer-"

"You've had seven." Arthur mumbled.

"One in dog beers." Alfred laughed.

"Stop quoting shit you saw on Facebook."

"Whatever, anyway, I want a taco." Alfred turned abruptly and walked into the parking lot of Taco Bell. Good thing they took a taxi that night.

Arthur followed grumpily as Alfred sauntered up to the register.

"I want the biggest quesadilla you have. And a burrito. Arthur?" Alfred turned to look at the blond.

"Nothing. I want to go home."

"And a churro. And a coke. All to go." Alfred said and rooted in his pocket for his card.

The cashier swiped his card then went in the back to fill his order.

Alfred turned to face Arthur. "There is no pleasing you."

Arthur rolled his eyes. "This was your idea. I told you I didn't want to come."

"But you did so you should have fun."

"I came so you would shut up!" Arthur snapped, planting his hands on his hips and brining one end of his waist higher than the other.

Alfred's eyes lingered on Arthur's painted on jeans before he glared. "Why can't you ever have fun? I mean when it's something _I_ planned?!"

"I had fun at my birthday!"

"Because Killian got you piss drunk! You didn't even notice how I decorated and cleaned and your iPod was going all night!"*

"Look at you, big shot hero! I just surprised you with a stupid holiday that had a bunny handing out eggs and your brother!" Arthur's voice was rising.

"I brought your brother to your birthday!" Alfred didn't even notice he was shouting.

Arthur flinched but continued. "Very creative, Al! You had my brothers come to my birthday!"

"I paid half of Killian's plane ticket so _you_ could see him!" Alfred shoved a finger into Arthur's chest.

The blond stared at the blue-eyed American. He had no idea Alfred paid to have Killian come from Ireland for his birthday. At that moment, Arthur was ready to apologize, but Alfred wasn't done.

"_All_ my money goes to you! Your stupid yoga classes, the constant shopping with Feliks, your earrings, your tattoo touch-ups, the apartment, the car, the everything!" Neither of them noticed that the food was ready and a crowd had gathered behind them. "_I_ work my ass off so you can live comfortably and you get _mad_ when I forget you! I didn't forget you! I had to work overtime to catch up on your goddamn yoga class!"

Arthur stood stock still, his chin raised and eyes straight, although he knew his lips quivered. All in all, he knew Alfred was right. And he couldn't admit that to the bloody American when he was yelling. So he turned on his heel and summoned a cab while he waited for Alfred to gather his bags of Taco Bell.

Once Alfred slammed the door of the cab, Arthur told the cabbie their address and sat back in silence.

At their apartment building, Alfred shoved a handful of cash at the cabbie and got out, not bothering to make sure Arthur got out.

Back in their apartment, Arthur decided to be the bigger man and apologize. "Alfred." The American said nothing has he tore into his burrito. Arthur sighed, disgusting. He tried again. "Alfred, I'm sorry."

Alfred turned his gaze slightly to Arthur, but he wouldn't meet the green eyes.

Arthur continued. "I know how hard you work and I'm very spoiled." He moved closer to Alfred and touched his shoulder, still no reaction from Alfred. "I'll go look for a job this week. I promise."

Finally, Alfred sighed and sat down his burrito, he pulled Arthur into his lap. "You don't need to do that."

"But-"

"Oh shush. I was just mad." Alfred placed his chin on Arthur's head. "'M'sorry, Artie."

Arthur smiled and closed his eyes as his cheek sank deeper into Alfred's chest.

After a few minutes of silence, Alfred moved again and Arthur opened his eyes. "What are you doing?" He asked, watching Alfred root around in the grease-stained bag.

"Getting your churro." Alfred said simply.

"I didn't want a churro." Arthur said, blinking owlishly.

"_You_ might not like it, but _I_ want to see you eat it." Alfred said, grinning.

Arthur deadpanned. "Seriously? You are terrible at sexy time."

"I thought it was a good idea." Alfred puffed his cheeks into a pout.

Arthur rolled his eyes and slid off Alfred's lap to the floor. "Honestly, if you wanted a blow job..."

"Don't say that!" Alfred whined.

"Why not?" Arthur asked, undoing Alfred's belt and button.

"It's a weird word." Alfred mumbled, leaning back in the chair and spreading his legs slightly.

Arthur rolled his eyes again. "Shut up." He pulled down Alfred's trousers and began pressing his finger-tips to Alfred's quickly growing arousal.

Thankfully, Alfred remained quiet, except for his small moans as Arthur massaged him through the thin cotton.

Deciding Alfred had had enough teasing, he completely stripped Alfred's lower half.

"A-Artie..." Alfred whispered, sitting up in the chair.

"Sshh. Sit back, love." Arthur said, running his fingers over Alfred's cock.

Alfred complied and closed his eyes.

Arthur smiled softly to himself. Alfred was so cute when he was flustered. Arthur opened his mouth and let his tongue snake over Alfred's head, making Alfred let out a tight breath.

After a slight pause, due to Alfred squirming, Arthur widened his lips and took Alfred into his mouth. Alfred released a soft cry at the sudden heat engulfing him entirely. Arthur brought his head back and stayed at the tip, his lips puckered and sucking like he would a straw. He pushed his head back down and repeated the motion, going faster each time.

Alfred's hand tangled into Arthur's hair while he moaned for Arthur to take more in. Arthur relaxed his jaw and sucked Alfred to his climax.

Arthur pulled away and gazed at Alfred while he swallowed the sticky substance. Some had drizzled to Arthur's chin and Alfred wiped it away as he lifted Arthur back into his lap.

The American grinned at what he discovered. "You came from sucking me off, Artie?"

Arthur blushed furiously and fidgeted in his very uncomfortable pants. "I was thinking of what I would get after."

"And what are you getting?" Alfred asked huskily, Alfred ridding Arthur of his clothes.

"Hmmm..." Arthur groaned, brining their naked erections together. "Something long and hard in my ass."

"I'll get the stick then." Alfred said through his teeth. It was damn hard to concentrate with Arthur rutting against him.

"Shut up, Al." Arthur said, climbing onto the table and shoving Alfred's forgotten Taco Bell to the side.

Alfred stood and kissed Arthur soundly on the mouth before taking off his shirt and laying Arthur back on the table. They ignored the food splattering to the ground.

"We haven't done it on the table yet, Artie." Alfred whispered, pressing a finger into Arthur's mouth.

Arthur rolled his eyes once more before licking them and coating Alfred's fingers in saliva.

Alfred pulled his hand back and tracked down to Arthur's sweet entrance while he showered Arthur's milky chest in kisses, licks, and nips.

Arthur groaned, arched and rolled against Alfred as the American circled his hole before inserting a finger in quickly.

"Hey, Artie, Feliks taught me a new word." Alfred murmured, taking Arthur's nipple into his mouth and working a second finger into Arthur.

Moaning against Alfred's cheek, Arthur managed a quiet, "Wh-what?" Alfred spread his fingers and moved his hand to rest on Arthur's hip.

"Yaoi hole." Alfred said.

"What does that-" Arthur's sassy comment was cut off by a loud moan as Alfred plunged straight through Arthur and hit his prostate.

"Figure it out?" Alfred breathed, leaving marks on Arthur's neck.

The blond only nodded.

Alfred grinned and, using the table as leverage, slammed into Arthur repeatedly. Arthur's hair became even more unkempt and his charm necklace that held all the Rockstar tabs Alfred had drank jingled against the table.

Arthur's eyes closed as he felt his inner walls spreading to take more of Alfred in. He moaned and panted against Alfred's shoulder and wrapped his legs around his hips to draw him in closer.

"A-Alfred!" Arthur screamed, coming across their chests.

Alfred pounded into Arthur a few more times before filling Arthur until his seed spilled out.

When Alfred pulled out, he kissed Arthur's belly button ring. "Happy Cinco de Mayo, Artie." He whispered, the picked up the churro and Arthur and carried them both to their room.

"Happy Chico del Mayonnaise, Al"

_May 6_

Alfred finished flipping the French toast, then leaned against the counter. When his back met the granite, he felt a jolt of pain in his lower back. "Ow! Arthur!"

Arthur appeared from their room. He was wearing only Alfred's shirt and it showed off the majority of his thighs. "What is it, love?"

"My back hurts." Alfred whined.

"You did get a tattoo."

"I did?" Alfred blinked and cocked his head.

Arthur sighed. "Yes, take off your shirt and I'll show you."

"A-alright." Alfred tugged the tee over his head and turned his back to Arthur.

Arthur pulled out his cellphone, took a picture of Alfred's tattoo and handed him the phone. "See?"

Alfred's mouth fell open. "A tramp stamp?!"

"Yes."

Alfred stared at the phone. Right above his sweatpants band there was a little heart with the Union Jack decorating the inside. Around the heart Arthur's name was written beautifully.

"Oh my god." Alfred mumbled.

Arthur giggled and wrapped his arms around Alfred's waist, minding his tattoo. "I think it's rather lovely."

Alfred looked from Arthur to the phone. "But, a tramp stamp?"

"Mhm..." Arthur grinned and nuzzled Alfred's neck.

"We are never celebrating Cinco de Mayo with tequila ever again."

Arthur just laughed and got a plate for breakfast.

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**Author's note: The break thingies are little Mexicans with sombreros and a mustache.**

**If you have a holiday you think I don't know, send me a message with the date, a description and a pairing! If no pairing is included it will just be usuk.**

***read Geeks and a Birthday for better detail.**


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